The stronger I get, the more I realize how weak I actually am.
Funny to think about, right?
I am only 24. Bear with me.
At 18 I thought it was juvenile to cry. Pathetic to ask for help. And that I had EVERY answer.
Well, I soon realized that was bullshit. In fact, I remember feeling like I knew everything at 8. But then again, I used to blend flour into the carpet instead of cleaning it up at that age.
In any case, over the past few years, and as Sean would say- after my quarter life crisis in 2014 when I dropped everything and traveled The States and The EU alone- I started to have some "awakenings" as to what else was really out there. And to be frank, that lil ol me did not have every answer or experience.
As time continues on, more countries have been visited, new loves have been made, and even more knowledge has been acquired-both in school and in the field. But nowadays this knowledge is viewed differently on my end. It's like a two-edged sword, so helpful, yet sometimes so hurting.
It's a yin and yang. The logical and the creative. The sun and the moon. The 1st world and the 3rd world. All of this seeking some balance, if there is such a thing.
You know, these places and experiences have really shaped who I am. They have indeed created the reality that I live in. But after being so many places, amongst so many communities, it really makes one reflect as to who we each individually are. I came to UNISG in Italy to study with these "like-minded" people, yet have not found that one soul connection like I have in other places. I searched out this area in particular because it seemed right- as Sean would say "If you never have any expectations, you'll never be let down"- and I should have thought about that first.
Being here has been a challenge, one of the greatest yet. And that is quite peculiar considering I am in a first world country, not Vietnam like earlier this year. So really, where does challenge lie? Within you? Within the city you live in? With the people whom you surround yourself with?
This is the contemplation as of late. Somewhere in between I will understand the dark in the light, the light in the dark, and the glass both half empty and half full.
To be continued...
