Yin.Yang.

The stronger I get, the more I realize how weak I actually am.

Funny to think about, right?

I am only 24. Bear with me.

At 18 I thought it was juvenile to cry. Pathetic to ask for help. And that I had EVERY answer.
Well, I soon realized that was bullshit. In fact, I remember feeling like I knew everything at 8. But then again, I used to blend flour into the carpet instead of cleaning it up at that age.

In any case, over the past few years, and as Sean would say- after my quarter life crisis in 2014 when I dropped everything and traveled The States and The EU alone- I started to have some "awakenings" as to what else was really out there. And to be frank, that lil ol me did not have every answer or experience.

As time continues on, more countries have been visited, new loves have been made, and even more knowledge has been acquired-both in school and in the field. But nowadays this knowledge is viewed differently on my end. It's like a two-edged sword, so helpful, yet sometimes so hurting.

It's a yin and yang. The logical and the creative. The sun and the moon. The 1st world and the 3rd world. All of this seeking some balance, if there is such a thing.

You know, these places and experiences have really shaped who I am. They have indeed created the reality that I live in. But after being so many places, amongst so many communities, it really makes one reflect as to who we each individually are. I came to UNISG in Italy to study with these "like-minded" people, yet have not found that one soul connection like I have in other places. I searched out this area in particular because it seemed right- as Sean would say "If you never have any expectations, you'll never be let down"- and I should have thought about that first.

Being here has been a challenge, one of the greatest yet. And that is quite peculiar considering I am in a first world country, not Vietnam like earlier this year. So really, where does challenge lie? Within you? Within the city you live in? With the people whom you surround yourself with?

This is the contemplation as of late. Somewhere in between I will understand the dark in the light, the light in the dark, and the glass both half empty and half full.

To be continued...

Grab Bike>NYC Subway [Hanoi]

Suffice to say I may miss the safety precautions taken in The States, I do enjoy the sights to see whilst on the back of a motorbike here in Hanoi. Anyway, in NYC there is no better way to travel than on the subway, while here there is no better way to travel than on the back of a motorbike. (Taxis take to long & are over priced in both cities- just don’t do it.)

One of the unique differences of this mode of transportation is that it is above ground. Also, a Grab Bike rarely takes the same route twice. Both of these lend to a secret into finding your way around the city, and to being able to see the sights without having to drive, or be surrounded by the metal of a car- the city is vertical, you are able to look up!

Sometimes, when the streets aren’t crowded- which is almost never- I stick my arms out and feel the breeze hit my skin. A little Titanic I’m free moment before the iceberg hits. Lucky for me, my moto driver is unflinching as he weaves in and out of near death experiences of oncoming drivers, children, sales women with their rice hats, and that god awful Hanoi bus. In the mean time I look around at the buildings and the range of architecture around me. In between thoughts of screaming at the danger I am surrounded by, I laugh to myself for being in such a beautiful, chaotic place, that just works.

The slight downside to Grab Bike would honestly be that they call us Westerners expecting us to be able to speak and understand their Vietnamese, which we probably should, but can’t. In these cases, I just say the address of where I’m at or hand the phone to a nearby friendly native to help dear ol’ me out. Therefore, while a NYC subway allows you to jump on and off wherever, without much help of the city, a Grab Bike throws you into the city, and the culture of Hanoi itself.

Perhaps I will ride my own moto one day here, but until then I will continue to enjoy the blood pressure rising, the adrenaline running, and the cortisol coursing through my veins at the madness and beauty the joy rides have to offer.

A Little Village [Hanoi]

Each area of Hanoi has it’s own village. And by that I mean community.
Walk down a given alley of a neighborhood and everyone takes their part in providing for the area. You have your tofu makers, butchers, vegetable sellers & fermenters, fruit sellers (sometimes different for each fruit), egg providers, quick marts, incense/shrine sellers, seafood providers, the milkman, the bean milkman, mushroom shops, pharmacies, and even a place to buy towels/glass jars/cooking utensils/etc. Along with this you will see some people selling different foods such as Bun Cha, Pho, Spring Rolls, Fried delicacies, Banh mi, Coffees, Bia Hoi, and so on.
The things is, if you go just a mile down the road, you will find the exact same things, just for that neighborhood. Again, it reminds me of NYC where one just has their local shops in each part of town. In places like Los Angeles where I am from, things are not so local, rather we would go to one single shop to buy EVERYTHING. Here I at least feel like the wealth is being spread about evenly and I see exactly where it goes. I am not paying directly to some corporate structure.
Best of all, I get genuine human interaction when I am buying these products. We all smile at each other and have a hand to hand exchange of goods. But beware, around 1 o’clock is nap time, and all of the shops will be closed.
…At least there are less motorbikes on the road at this time.

Jackfruit [Hanoi]

You haven’t lived until you’ve had jackfruit.

I kept seeing the ominous spikes and thought it was that terrible imposter durian. If you’ve ever had durian, you would understand my rational fears.

Well, at work one day the natives offered me some fruit and after first denying it, I took a piece. And then a few more pieces. And then I was hooked. The next day I went out and bought some for the house. The day after that the roommates bought some for the house. We decided it was all over, we could no longer live a day without jackfruit.

This fibrous, sweet, beautifully flavored massive fruit is sent from the heavens. (Or India, really.) It is mostly served here from a woman cutting it up on the streets, or on that fancy styrofoam.

As we started to consume it everyday we discovered how it tastes frozen and also what to do with the seeds that are usually discarded. Come to find out, the seeds roasted/boiled and peeled are a protein rich delicious potato flavored wonder. I’m sure the chefs of NY will turn it into a $100 plate special 5 years from now… but you heard it here first!

 

May your inner self be happy and secure.

The title of this post is the inscription written on the end of the string on my cup of tea. Quite fitting for Yogi tea, and the yogi in me.

I woke up today a little sore, a little slow...my body must have known the rain was coming.
As I sit here in my quiet house with the doors open and the rain gently falling to the ground, I am reminded of the little things in life that provide happiness. And while I am grateful for the sounds of nature and the clean air to breathe, I still get a little unsettled here and there- even with all of the comforts of home surrounding me.

It's funny, ya know, that society just tries to accumulate as much as possible before death. Collecting money that is just a figment on a screen, to jewels collected by migrant workers far off in the distance, to cars made of parts from a country with the highest population in the world, to the best wines, and the most luxurious of homes big enough to contain the American military. Alright, maybe this is an exaggeration, but my point is that no matter what we collect, there can still be a feather of sadness deep within...

Around mid morning today I started to get a little down and I headed to yoga to try and clear my head. I was questioning how I could be so unsettled in such a beautiful warm home, with decadent food and a loving family and animals, but then it hit me. No matter what my surroundings may be I will continue to struggle until my soul has its own sense of peace. Being the A type personality that I am, it is hard to accept that my time to reach peace may be longer than I "planned."

So, what is it that keeps me moving forward and that should keep you along your path? Those little coincidences that occur on a daily basis. And also the ability to be aware of where YOU are at, and accepting that your time is different than others. As for today, my coincidence is this little note on my tea bag that reminded me of the morning's concern.

When we find these little pieces of light, we must cherish them, as they are a reminder that we will at a time get to where we are going. Until then, I will churn my anxieties into the asanas of my yoga practice and will do my best to contribute my longings to the arts. And even after all is said and done, I will keep encouraging myself- and you- to take on the next challenge in our lives. To stay curious, to stay fascinated, and to keep chugging along in this dimension of reality, yo.

Much love, and much serenity to you,
Laci Annmarie

To live the life you've DREAMED of.

No one said it was going to be easy.
But who gains any sense of growth without a challenge?

You know, forging your own path is a journey that is best left covered up. You know, if you aren't into personal enlightenment and expanded consciousness.

I say this because most people don't want to get into the nitty gritty of doing what they love. They don't want to fight their way through the dark spots of their lives to reach a higher potential. It takes work. Dedicated, hard work.

Therefore only the bravest may head down this road that some of us call real life.

Sometimes I start to think that I could give up, just get a desk job, make a basic competitive salary and live life. Sure, I might be happy enough. Sure, I might be content. But what about the soul's journey on this planet to help evolution?

My journey really started about two years ago this time. Frankly, it has been hard, but in so many other ways it has been one blessing after another. Grounding myself- accepting the eccentric person that I am- helped to unfold a person ready to pursue my own values and beliefs. In doing this I have had moments of fearing the unknown, debating with family who doesn't understand, and having some days of deep sadness. But... through it all I have also found a great support system of like-minded people, have found my own art, and am open to what the future continues to bring.

I encourage each and every one of you to start forging a path that is your own. There may not be a guide to help get you there, and in fact their may be no direction given by any one, but stay strong, persevere, and remember that you can make a difference. Be the artist of your life!

Information in - Creativity out

Time: 9:42AM

At this time I would usually be reading. Well, still reading.

Lately I have had this feeling of not being able to fully express myself. Not being able to find the words that I want to speak. (Even now as I am typing this.) 

So, I decided to pick up an old book of mine that I read at the beginning of this year, because I came to a sort of epiphany last night as my friend was editing this painting in front of me. (His creativity is flowing.)

Well, in a sort of non-western philosophy regarding chakras, the fifth chakra is the house of creativity and communication. One of its major connections is the second chakra where sensations and information enter into the body. 

As my mind started to make some connections I realized that, well, there is a lot of connection going on in my body. (Not necessarily mind-body connection quite yet, rather body-body, mind-mind.) 

Recently, my biggest work in yoga has been releasing my hips/lower back (second chakra), and the tightest part of my upper body, my neck/shoulders (fifth chakra). Until today I didn't realize that both were connected. 

So, revelation, uncovered. 

Fresh out of college, well-traveled, loved, active, happy, yet missing my full potential for creativity. 

The only conclusion I have come to is that instead of consistently letting new information flood my brain, it is time to simply create and re-organize all that I have gathered. To help release the beauty of knowledge and creativity within myself the only thing I have left to do is physically create. Whether that be cooking, singing, dancing, writing (like I am now), meditating, etc. 

Thanks for reading.

Thanks for filling your second chakra for the day. 

Consider it your daily dose. 

Where would you go?

I was sitting with my grandpa Tom the other day...

We got to talking and I asked him if he could go anywhere where would he go? Because these days he is at home, almost 90, a bit hard of hearing, and not in the greatest of health.

You know, he didn't give me quite the direct answer, rather he answered with that he would need to go to the doctors a lot. Although he wasn't sad about this, just matter of fact about it. And when I asked again for a solid answer he said he didn't really have any where he wanted to go.

I wondered why...
Why is it that he is okay with just being where he is? Is it because he is not in the best shape? Is it because his family, friends, sports, and reading are enough? Or is it because he worries about not being able to physically go anywhere?

It scares me, these days of marketed medicine and honestly the quality of life.
If we are living by the way of (pharmaceutical) drugs, barely, are we really living?
Granted, I am so incredibly happy to have Tom in my life. He has all of his marbles, in fact he is more put together than most of us, but is that enough for him?
If I were to ask Tom this he would undoubtedly say yes. Because grandpas always know what to say.

Life is a precious thing, one we are so lucky to have, but what does this extension by way of technological advancements serve?

Happy

Time: 22:26
Consuming: Peppermint tea

A thought struck today when out with some women.
What does happy mean?

According to Dictionary.com there are a few definitions, but for today we'll mention two that are of utter importance.

1. characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy
2. favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky

Coming from Los Angeles I hardly have much to complain about, and frankly neither should anyone else. To be living in this city is a blessing in itself- the weather, the accessibility (of food, places, culture), the mere freedom to be an individual, and of course community. The reason I mention this is because I was taken aback as to what I felt was such a high amount of negativity from dear friends that I was spending the day with. It seemed that living in such a beautiful place, well-off to eat and an ability to spend on entertainment should be "enough,"  that having a day to do such would be, I don't know, splendid. The thing was though, even seeing a business owner and a fresh graduate from University (something that many people strive for) still did not show me a person who was happy.

As I am discovering my path in life I take into account those things, people, events, and experiences that I think will make me happy. But as I consider this, is being happy even enough? Is happy a drawn out word that needs to be replaced? If happy is just being content or fortunate is that even enough?

Frankly, from what I am gathering being "happy" is not what we should be striving for. Perhaps what we really need to be trying to attain is a sense of individual truth. We do not need to be delighted or lucky, we need to be fulfilled and ever-searching. Being content is nothing but an excuse to settle. Happiness may be good in the short-term, but what is it that serves us at a deeper and more personal level? What is it that invigorates us to the core?

Perhaps our compasses need re-adjusting.
Perhaps we just need to find our own North star.

How I came to find my values in a black sock.

While the clock says I should be asleep, my body thinks it's midday. 

This 15 hour time change from LA to Beijing is by far the worst jet lag I have experienced. 

Thankfully, the trip was well worth it. 

Post graduation: B.A. in Psychology 

Future: Open

You know, I didn't have any expectations for China. My friend Sean says "If you never have expectations, you'll never be let down," and that is some wise wisdom.

On this journey of the Asian world I discovered more than jian bings and stinky tofu; I had some conversations that delved deep into what values mean to a person. 

Being post-graduates we started to think about and discuss what it is that is most important for ourselves. It seems simple enough and it does put things into perspective, but how often do we as humans really consider our values in our careers? Are they ideals we think about every so often? Are they words we simply speak in conversations? Or are they actions seen in our daily lives- our regular standard of living?

I don't know if it was the culture shock I personally experienced, the simple ways of living I observed, or the chaos of the drivers I had to maneuver around, but being in China brought a brighter sense of focus. Now to just hold on to those discovered values for the future that is to be created. 

As for the sock that I value... well, it became toilet paper in a dire situation on a squat pot. Yep. That is the honest truth. 

 

The French Palate.

I got to thinking today...
Why is it that Americans are so obsessed with diet fads and New Years resolutions to kick those little lbs, all while depriving themselves of nature's goodness?

You see, while I haven't been to France I can say that after meeting some French people I couldn't believe they were so slender from their eating habits.
Cheese here, cheese there, more wine, more meat, those baguettes, and don't forget the sweet stuff! (and some chain smokers)
But how can this be?
Well, you see... it may all be high in "fat," but they are more accustomed to ENJOYING their food.
In America, with all of our fast food and rush hour traffic we have become accustomed to eating with only a couple of our senses, rather than all of them.
If we were to say, take our time to cook and take our time savoring that melt in your mouth cheese we wouldn't need to be concerned with diets and eating habits. This being said, an issue we have is taking the time to enjoy our meals, taking our time to structure our lives around that which sustains us.
To have an appreciation for food and what it means to commune with family and friends can change more than just our waistline. It can change a lot of our views and even our respect for the world we live in.

Eating is about the senses, about the immersion of mind, body, and soul.
That's all folks.

Francois, a French man, with his home-made French Bread. 

A Salute to Coffee

Time: 11:39 AM
Place: California State University Northridge


Currently, I'm about 2 cups of hallway coffee in, but that doesn't compare to the usual Bullet Proof French press I usually make on a typical morning. And when that first peak hits, it's sooo good.


Ha!


Over this past week I have been quite swamped with a very fun research project that I am doing with a professor of mine. During this week I have noticed that the time I usually allocate to my mornings has been lost, and so has my apparent ability to get enough caffeine in my system.


It's crazy to think that the only people considered addicts are those that abuse drugs deemed more harmful, when in reality the caffeine category could classify people just the same.
As a society we have grown to either promote or deny certain drugs, foods, people, orientations, religions, clothing brands, etc. We only make decisions as to what we are okay living with. What ever it is that makes us feel good. We are all wanting to have that pleasure, and when things are a little off or not quite what we're use to, we can see it come out in our personality or our reactions to others. In times such as these it is important to remember that a deep breath goes a long way. A concluding statement would be nice... and to that I want y'all to think about what you do, what you consume, and what you judge... How does that affect your interactions, and how does that in turn allow you to see yourself from an outside perspective? Hmm...
Cheers,
Your friend a cup of Joe.

Preparing for the Unexpected.

Time: 3:15 PM
Place: Santa Clarita, CA
Weather: Raining (for real)

A few weeks ago I was in San Francisco with my teammate, his family, and some friends. It was one of those nights- you know, a little bit too much alcohol, a little too forward with my questions- but all in all a grand time, a memory created. However, on that night, as I was trying to keep my clumsy self together I stumbled... upon a fortune on the ground. Why I picked it up wasn't the weird part, that's just something I normally do... but what it said struck me in the weeks that followed.

"It would be wise to prepare for the unexpected."-The Great Insightful Panda Express

When I lifted this little white piece of paper from the ground I thought nothing of it,  and simply put it in my wallet. But as time went on and things around me started to unexpectedly change I thought-hmmmm... could a fortune really have been correct?

On a side note- Do we ever remember the wishes we made on those shooting stars, that broken wishbone, those blown eye lashes, or those made at 11:11? Do we remember the fortunes we find?
Or is it that things never really strike us as "coming true" until they are actually happening?

So, I got to thinking about this fortune- whether it was good/bad/neutral or had no meaning at all. Because how does one prepare for the unexpected if we don't know what it is going to entail? We can't live our lives frightened of what will occur next and we can't live ruthlessly without being somewhat responsible- and that just leaves the present. But living in the present sounds so New Age Hipster, I'm getting sick of it already. All that is left is simply understanding, understanding that we can't have expectations of what's coming. Hence we live with the continuation of doing what we love and realizing that what ever the outcome, we are further than we were before. The unexpected could be positive or negative, but in the end we will learn from it, grow from it, and move forward.

In conclusion, it would be wise to not pick up any more drunken fortunes around SF.
Or it would be wise to prepare for the next unexpected fortune.

1+1=3

According to Merriam-Webster:

Relationship:
1. way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other
2. a romantic or sexual friendship between two people
3. the way in which two or more people or things are connected

Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
-a frequent or regular male/female companion in a romantic or sexual relationship

So, as I move into a new relationship, let's say one that is taking precedence over all others, I am trying to discover what the immense feeling I have inside is and what it is based upon. 

The start of a relationship is a beautiful experience, and to me a relationship is not meant to be the we are one, we do everything together, we can't be apart type of feeling. Rather a relationship is where 1+1=3. A good base is essential to a relationship, but most importantly you must remember to stay the person you are and bring that to the growth of what will ensue. To get to the sum of three... the two of you must bring so much apart that you create more that just a single entity or fraternal twins (ha). Instead, the ultimate intention shall be to become transcended individuals, succumbing to more than either of you thought was possible. 

Frankly, why am I speaking of all this nonsense? Even I am beginning to wonder. 
Well, I must say that regardless of sexual, romantic, platonic feelings, a boyfriend/relationship may arise when it feels right. When you find that soul, that for the time being you want to learn and grow with. Not to grow as one, but to grow as an individual. To learn from someone what you cannot find yourself (and this does not mean you are opposites!). And most importantly, to find that someone-who for a moment in time- can understand all of your quirks, awkwardness, passions, and still smile every time you walk in the room. 

I think it's about time you fell in love again.

These words I mentioned to a close New Yorker of mine. Someone who I indeed care about, maybe even felt love for in this life.
There are many levels to love, and in other languages... multiple words for love.
But what is it that love means to each and everyone of us? Surely there can't be a definition that universally fits.
And what about that old little saying from Sherrilyn Kenyon, "If you love something, set it free."
In my own experiences I have found that letting people go, and seeing where life takes them has a beauty in it's own right. A beauty that one can learn from. 
The other half of this quote, "If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with," leaves a different impression though. One that I don't necessarily agree with in all of its wholeness. Reason being that one shouldn't think love could be owned in the first place, and second of all... even if someone or something doesn't come back to you doesn't mean it wasn't real for the time it was a part of your life. 
The real issue (so to speak) with love today, is that people assume there is that one great love. That one prince charming. That one soul mate. That one being that completes you. But seriously, out of the 7.5 billion people in the world, how could that be possible? Ideally we should be falling in love as much as possible. This doesn't mean we are always sexually intimate, but it does mean that we are feeling an emotion that evokes a deep connection with another being. This connection allows for the unearthing of a beautiful art. An art of learning from one another and an ability to embrace the fact that we are continually growing. Now... I know this in not fathomable for everyone, that some people do not always desire this closeness, but why limit oneself when there are truly beautiful people, beautiful souls all around? And when for a moment in time one does find that almost "perfect" love... enjoy that too. 

Discover, Nurture, Love. 

To be open.

What is one of the most important lessons to learn in life?
What does learning encompass for you?
Do you agree/disagree a lot?

These questions are something to consider when in conversation with others.
From my experience being open is one of the greatest gifts you can grant yourself.
To be open is to let other perspectives come in...without judgement.
When this occurs, you allow a new seed to be planted. And though this seed may not grow right away, perhaps never at all, it is at least given that chance.

Openness is a state of mind, a physical showcase, a welcoming of life, and a gesture of human kindness.
We all want to find that common ground that links us together.

A Personal Rant

Location: Freudian Sip... CSUN

Last year of school and I'm regarding my intentions to do homework as a lost effort that can place energy somewhere else. Make sense.............. Basically decided to write this blog because I can't focus on reading Applied Cognition at the moment. 

The greatest thing to learn is to be true to you. A recurrent theme that has been eluded to my entire life (of 22 years), but is just now being understood. So while I am making my way through this last year of Uni I am practicing what it is that I feel represents the true me. That me that I searched for this year and continue to learn about. 

Since being home a lot of projects have been started, some have fallen away, and some have grown. Though the biggest obstacle I continually fight is that of fear. Fear of failing, fear of not being productive, and fear of not reaching my highest potential. In order to begin any of the following projects I had to remind myself that I can not give up even before I start. Sure it takes a lot of work to keep that motivation up, but when I do it feels great. In fact, it feels fucking incredible. 

Lately I have been doing 30 minutes of French lessons in the mornings, yoga 2-4 times a week, hiking, attempting to start running, making pickles for sale, painting, cooking (a lot), having psychedelic conversations with like-minded people that seem to drift into my life bubble, gardening (the seeds have begun to sprout), growing sprouts in my garden window, hanging out with friends, reading, listening to podcasts, etc etc etc. 

Granted at this time in my life I only have school to worry about, I am making the most of the time I have. Perhaps my cynical view of life assumes to much when thinking that most people need to enjoy their life more, but I can't help it. In today's overrun, exhaustive, technological society that becomes more impersonal every day, people need to take control of their existence. In order to reach their potential they need to re-evaluate those possibilities in their life that can bring about some bliss. Rather than going through daily repetitive motions we humans need to be challenged, we need to continually grow in as many aspects of life as we can. Especially y'all in your 20's, because once you shape your life to be ever-changing in a stable environment, only then can you be happy and content. And just to think, if we all learn this young, our lives when we are older will be even that much better. Gather knowledge, gather life, gather love. And most of all, be true to yourself. Be true to that which you feel is ultimately right within your entire being-no matter the effort, cost, time, losses or gains. 

Back to The Basics

Time: 8:52 PST
Place: Los Angeles, CA
Mood: Present

A blog. What does that even look like? Well, it looks like what ever the hell I want it to be... Kind of like my life.
Settling here at home has been cool. Real cool. Kinda of like a nice cool breeze after a long morning of hiking near Malibu. Wait. That actually might be cooler.
ANYWAY. Besides going on these trails around LA since being back, I have had to attempt to settle in. So let me preach about how it all has been going.
I'm different. Friends are different. My cat is still a cunt. BUT we have all grown! Such a beautiful thing to be a part of....ya know? A month being here after seven stomping the world is not nearly enough to realize the potential of the future, but the basics I have implemented are enough for now.
The house is coming together (finally), the GoPro stands are put up for proper (the English man) documentation, the garden is ready to be planted (and larger), my final year at Uni (College in foreign people terms) has officially started, a weekly art day is set, I'm back to yoga at 6AM, cooking too much, and of course sitting on the beach as much as possible.
These "basics" of mine are what I searched for on my journey this year. To find what makes me happy. And while there is a lot of motivation that I have to keep pushing forward with; life feels good.

Inevitability

Time: 11:11 AM
Place: Den Haag, The Netherlands
Feeling: Like a cool cat

The question and desire along this trip has been to find passion. People have said, "life will figure itself out," "it will just come to you," "finish school," etc. And yes, they are right. However we do need some reminders that we are on the path we are actually choosing for ourselves. Today that reminder is solidified in the fact that I am sitting here on my favorite day of the week (Sunday) and just reading. I have been clogging (a Netherlands pun) around the world, but I am still completing those ideals I have set for myself-without even trying! If anyone has seen my house or read through a notebook... I function through lists, and organized chaos. These lists have stated my goals, desires, reminders to walk Lola and all. And though not all is accomplished, the things that are critical to place me in this world where I am meant to be have been completed. What is amazing to me though is the things I have done that I didn't think were possible. A few years ago I stated I wanted to drive through the U.S. the year after going to Europe. I thought that since I had taken off so much time in 2013 I never would be able to in 2014, but I did it. Yet as I have taken off this time I am still headed towards the direction of finishing school and progressing as I reach the age of 22. The next steps will come as they may, without force, but always with a desire to improve and grow. So... a word of advice from the Psych major...rather than doing what you think you SHOULD do, do what you WANT!

Leaving Germany (for a little while)

Time: 11:21AM 

Place: Leipzig Hbf

Going to: Prague (Praha), Czech Republic

Here I go. I'm off! Finally, to another country besides Germany. And let me tell you, I am really putting my foot out there-I even have to use a new currency! HA. I am trying to be as ridiculous as possible. 4 months and 1 day since I left my cozy little home in Los Angeles and I have been doing nothing but adventuring so to speak. The thing is though, that I am not like the "normal" adventurer from the United States. Of course I love to see some of the historical and tourist sites but to me traveling is about the people you meet and those small places that no one finds. Sure I can go to the Reichstag and take a beautiful picture, but staying in a communal home that is building a hostel sounds so much more interesting. After all, a picture is just a picture, but there is nothing like a good story. Like that time I went indoor rock-climbing in Berlin and then went to a mini rave at an airport that no longer was in use. Perhaps the reason why I am not so anxiety ridden about seeing as many places I can in this short 2 months left is because I know I will be back. I know that my life will always consist of being a traveler. Frankly, like Kerouac says, it is a drug. 

A lesson to learn in life is that as much as we want something, we don't always need it right away. I have had this thought in my head about the difference between the two-want and need. There is a fine line between them but when you think you must have something or do something... it is most likely not right for you. When you push too hard you lose sight of the things that are presented in front of you and more likely to help you. An example of this during my trip was when I simply took my time leaving Berlin and headed to the train station for Leipzig. A place I decided to go to because a friend of a friend had a place for me. (To me the city was much more beautiful than Berlin.) Funny enough as I was getting off the train at the Hbf to catch the next I ran into a friend that I was working with in Northern Germany. Had I tried to change my plans or pushed to leave earlier...anything that was not natural I would not have had this spectacular run in. A run in that made me smile and realize that to be a traveler you must have some intentions, but nothing too set that you can't let life take you where you are supposed to go. So now as I head to Prague to couchsurf with a man from America I am open to see what comes my way. As with each new step there are always some frightening feelings, but nothing that can't be saved in today's vast world of technology. To live and to travel is to be present, and to be exactly who you are, because there is one thing you can count on-people are people.