I think it's about time you fell in love again.

These words I mentioned to a close New Yorker of mine. Someone who I indeed care about, maybe even felt love for in this life.
There are many levels to love, and in other languages... multiple words for love.
But what is it that love means to each and everyone of us? Surely there can't be a definition that universally fits.
And what about that old little saying from Sherrilyn Kenyon, "If you love something, set it free."
In my own experiences I have found that letting people go, and seeing where life takes them has a beauty in it's own right. A beauty that one can learn from. 
The other half of this quote, "If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with," leaves a different impression though. One that I don't necessarily agree with in all of its wholeness. Reason being that one shouldn't think love could be owned in the first place, and second of all... even if someone or something doesn't come back to you doesn't mean it wasn't real for the time it was a part of your life. 
The real issue (so to speak) with love today, is that people assume there is that one great love. That one prince charming. That one soul mate. That one being that completes you. But seriously, out of the 7.5 billion people in the world, how could that be possible? Ideally we should be falling in love as much as possible. This doesn't mean we are always sexually intimate, but it does mean that we are feeling an emotion that evokes a deep connection with another being. This connection allows for the unearthing of a beautiful art. An art of learning from one another and an ability to embrace the fact that we are continually growing. Now... I know this in not fathomable for everyone, that some people do not always desire this closeness, but why limit oneself when there are truly beautiful people, beautiful souls all around? And when for a moment in time one does find that almost "perfect" love... enjoy that too. 

Discover, Nurture, Love. 

To be open.

What is one of the most important lessons to learn in life?
What does learning encompass for you?
Do you agree/disagree a lot?

These questions are something to consider when in conversation with others.
From my experience being open is one of the greatest gifts you can grant yourself.
To be open is to let other perspectives come in...without judgement.
When this occurs, you allow a new seed to be planted. And though this seed may not grow right away, perhaps never at all, it is at least given that chance.

Openness is a state of mind, a physical showcase, a welcoming of life, and a gesture of human kindness.
We all want to find that common ground that links us together.

A Personal Rant

Location: Freudian Sip... CSUN

Last year of school and I'm regarding my intentions to do homework as a lost effort that can place energy somewhere else. Make sense.............. Basically decided to write this blog because I can't focus on reading Applied Cognition at the moment. 

The greatest thing to learn is to be true to you. A recurrent theme that has been eluded to my entire life (of 22 years), but is just now being understood. So while I am making my way through this last year of Uni I am practicing what it is that I feel represents the true me. That me that I searched for this year and continue to learn about. 

Since being home a lot of projects have been started, some have fallen away, and some have grown. Though the biggest obstacle I continually fight is that of fear. Fear of failing, fear of not being productive, and fear of not reaching my highest potential. In order to begin any of the following projects I had to remind myself that I can not give up even before I start. Sure it takes a lot of work to keep that motivation up, but when I do it feels great. In fact, it feels fucking incredible. 

Lately I have been doing 30 minutes of French lessons in the mornings, yoga 2-4 times a week, hiking, attempting to start running, making pickles for sale, painting, cooking (a lot), having psychedelic conversations with like-minded people that seem to drift into my life bubble, gardening (the seeds have begun to sprout), growing sprouts in my garden window, hanging out with friends, reading, listening to podcasts, etc etc etc. 

Granted at this time in my life I only have school to worry about, I am making the most of the time I have. Perhaps my cynical view of life assumes to much when thinking that most people need to enjoy their life more, but I can't help it. In today's overrun, exhaustive, technological society that becomes more impersonal every day, people need to take control of their existence. In order to reach their potential they need to re-evaluate those possibilities in their life that can bring about some bliss. Rather than going through daily repetitive motions we humans need to be challenged, we need to continually grow in as many aspects of life as we can. Especially y'all in your 20's, because once you shape your life to be ever-changing in a stable environment, only then can you be happy and content. And just to think, if we all learn this young, our lives when we are older will be even that much better. Gather knowledge, gather life, gather love. And most of all, be true to yourself. Be true to that which you feel is ultimately right within your entire being-no matter the effort, cost, time, losses or gains. 

Back to The Basics

Time: 8:52 PST
Place: Los Angeles, CA
Mood: Present

A blog. What does that even look like? Well, it looks like what ever the hell I want it to be... Kind of like my life.
Settling here at home has been cool. Real cool. Kinda of like a nice cool breeze after a long morning of hiking near Malibu. Wait. That actually might be cooler.
ANYWAY. Besides going on these trails around LA since being back, I have had to attempt to settle in. So let me preach about how it all has been going.
I'm different. Friends are different. My cat is still a cunt. BUT we have all grown! Such a beautiful thing to be a part of....ya know? A month being here after seven stomping the world is not nearly enough to realize the potential of the future, but the basics I have implemented are enough for now.
The house is coming together (finally), the GoPro stands are put up for proper (the English man) documentation, the garden is ready to be planted (and larger), my final year at Uni (College in foreign people terms) has officially started, a weekly art day is set, I'm back to yoga at 6AM, cooking too much, and of course sitting on the beach as much as possible.
These "basics" of mine are what I searched for on my journey this year. To find what makes me happy. And while there is a lot of motivation that I have to keep pushing forward with; life feels good.

Inevitability

Time: 11:11 AM
Place: Den Haag, The Netherlands
Feeling: Like a cool cat

The question and desire along this trip has been to find passion. People have said, "life will figure itself out," "it will just come to you," "finish school," etc. And yes, they are right. However we do need some reminders that we are on the path we are actually choosing for ourselves. Today that reminder is solidified in the fact that I am sitting here on my favorite day of the week (Sunday) and just reading. I have been clogging (a Netherlands pun) around the world, but I am still completing those ideals I have set for myself-without even trying! If anyone has seen my house or read through a notebook... I function through lists, and organized chaos. These lists have stated my goals, desires, reminders to walk Lola and all. And though not all is accomplished, the things that are critical to place me in this world where I am meant to be have been completed. What is amazing to me though is the things I have done that I didn't think were possible. A few years ago I stated I wanted to drive through the U.S. the year after going to Europe. I thought that since I had taken off so much time in 2013 I never would be able to in 2014, but I did it. Yet as I have taken off this time I am still headed towards the direction of finishing school and progressing as I reach the age of 22. The next steps will come as they may, without force, but always with a desire to improve and grow. So... a word of advice from the Psych major...rather than doing what you think you SHOULD do, do what you WANT!

Leaving Germany (for a little while)

Time: 11:21AM 

Place: Leipzig Hbf

Going to: Prague (Praha), Czech Republic

Here I go. I'm off! Finally, to another country besides Germany. And let me tell you, I am really putting my foot out there-I even have to use a new currency! HA. I am trying to be as ridiculous as possible. 4 months and 1 day since I left my cozy little home in Los Angeles and I have been doing nothing but adventuring so to speak. The thing is though, that I am not like the "normal" adventurer from the United States. Of course I love to see some of the historical and tourist sites but to me traveling is about the people you meet and those small places that no one finds. Sure I can go to the Reichstag and take a beautiful picture, but staying in a communal home that is building a hostel sounds so much more interesting. After all, a picture is just a picture, but there is nothing like a good story. Like that time I went indoor rock-climbing in Berlin and then went to a mini rave at an airport that no longer was in use. Perhaps the reason why I am not so anxiety ridden about seeing as many places I can in this short 2 months left is because I know I will be back. I know that my life will always consist of being a traveler. Frankly, like Kerouac says, it is a drug. 

A lesson to learn in life is that as much as we want something, we don't always need it right away. I have had this thought in my head about the difference between the two-want and need. There is a fine line between them but when you think you must have something or do something... it is most likely not right for you. When you push too hard you lose sight of the things that are presented in front of you and more likely to help you. An example of this during my trip was when I simply took my time leaving Berlin and headed to the train station for Leipzig. A place I decided to go to because a friend of a friend had a place for me. (To me the city was much more beautiful than Berlin.) Funny enough as I was getting off the train at the Hbf to catch the next I ran into a friend that I was working with in Northern Germany. Had I tried to change my plans or pushed to leave earlier...anything that was not natural I would not have had this spectacular run in. A run in that made me smile and realize that to be a traveler you must have some intentions, but nothing too set that you can't let life take you where you are supposed to go. So now as I head to Prague to couchsurf with a man from America I am open to see what comes my way. As with each new step there are always some frightening feelings, but nothing that can't be saved in today's vast world of technology. To live and to travel is to be present, and to be exactly who you are, because there is one thing you can count on-people are people. 

Sensuality of Community

Time: 19:53
Location: Bottom floor of Mutzingen home
Feeling: Blissful and productive (even though everything online is in German!)

Start with this song by Creedence
Someday never comes. In tune with this song I must say that someday only comes when you jump into it. When you immerse yourself just into what is thrown your way. At first it may be hard to find your sense of community-which is really all we look for when we go anywhere/live anywhere. Through each place I have ventured to I have learned that you can't wait for something to feel right for yourself, you can't just expect to not be uncomfortable, so in retaliation you must jump in. To become one with the community your day will come though, and when you find those people it is only then that you feel at home.
What I am trying to get at is that in life we only want to find this community in which we feel we belong, something that is greater than us, and better than we could have imagined. Being here in this small village like town of Germany I have indeed found my sense of community, but it is not what I would typically imagine for myself. Back at home I have the comforts of being able to drive anywhere at any time, able to watch tv, stay warm without a couple jackets, have internet anywhere in the house- all of these material things that normally seem so needed. Being here this is not what has occurred. Coming here I could not see that day coming, that day where I was going to get "adjusted" and comfortable in my new location, rather I found that there were more important things to this monotonous life I had been feeling these past few years.
What is so cool about being here is that while we are living in a rural place, the people here are so full of human wealth. Living here I have seen that the people still live off of their land, they use the products they grow, the eggs from their neighbors, the organic food from the local shops, the wood for the furnace and oven, the sardine oil to start a fire, etc. All of this seems like so much work, but the people are so happy and so satisfied with the life they live. Here I have found a community to help and be a part of. Something greater than me, something greater than themselves. The sensuality of community is that you can't always see it, in fact you don't need to see it-or touch it- you need to be it, feel it. Because that someday, that sign, that click in the brain is never going to come. It is already here.