L.A. to LA

Well, here I have landed for about two weeks in the magical city of New Orleans. The first thing that I must say is this city wants to help you. Who knows where other places like this exist, but pure people reside here, and some pretty damn good food. Granted my liver has taken quite the beating, I am apart of something greater here. My life and those amongst me are keeping this city breathing, keeping the diastolic and systolic functions going. The heartbeat of this city is music, the humidity, the coffee, the $1 Miller High Life's at Molly's, on and on I could go. Throughout my travels in life-these 21 years- I have not once lived somewhere longer than a week. For the first time today I actually did something touristy-went to a museum-and before that had never thought about adventuring on to something such as this. Immediately when I got here I became a citizen of the town because there is nothing but open arms here. This launching pad of a city has made me realize that people actually do LIVE there lives rather than working to live. Regardless of making rent or having the best clothes, the people here look you in the eye and see that there is more to your soul than the Tiffany necklace hanging along your chest. Simplicity and love reside here, but behind it is the secret of the pain and suffering that made it the city it is today. I am more than grateful to be welcomed by her, Ms. NOLA.

No schedules and tight hips

Day: Saturday, February 15th
Location: Treme Coffee Shop- New Orleans
Current State: Not hungover

A whirlwind. That is the best way to even begin to describe what this past week- the past five days- have done to me. Being taken completely out of my comfort zone I have been placed into a new realm. As much as I feel I am out of what my "normal" surroundings are, I am quite at peace. Already there is a difference in my skin and the word anxiety can be used much less in my vocabulary now. In Los Angeles I always feel the need to be on a schedule and do things in a particular way. Being here that is not completely gone, but I have had to just roll with the punches a little bit more. Here in New Orleans the way of life is to live more in the present and I have been doing just that. For instance, I woke up this morning already thinking of how I wanted to my day to go. That I wanted to clean my car, do some work, laundry, yoga, and then get ready. But when I woke up, it flipped. Jordan and I did some yoga, and while he is currently napping I am here at a coffee shop getting work done before organizing the rest of my life. What I am learning from just going with the day rather trying to make the day is that things work out for the better. While I may not yet be showered, I have found this new coffee shop on my own and was able to send presents to my nephews for their birthdays. All in all everything gets completed, it just doesn't have to be in a set fashion.

Consistently I have tried to set my life into motion rather than just letting it flow. When I left Los Angeles a week and a half ago I had plans of where I wanted to drive and what days I wanted to be in certain places- and guess what- it all changed! In my life this has been a recurring thing, and I still don't know why I am trying to force anything anymore. There has to be a time when I will actually learn to let life lead me rather than me leading my life. I came to New Orleans to get away from what I have always known. I am not saying that life will be a complete 180 from where I was, but I know the experiences ahead of me will be more worthwhile than anything I could work 8 hours a day for and buy.

Another realization since I have been here is that throughout my entire life I have been doing just what I think I should be doing, not what I actually want to do. Weird to think about, right? I'm now considering this the need to develop the left brain-right brain connection instead of the mind-body connection. We grow up in this society going to school since we are about 4 or 5 and then are told to continue this progression into college. Somehow I missed the creativity train. If I knew then what I am learning now my life could have started in a different place-or at least post high school. That isn't to say that my college experience has limited me, but I just wish I knew what was important to me rather than what is important to society. Here in New Orleans I see people around me that have a love for the art they aspire to accomplish in their lives, and this brings me some pangs of jealousy and envy. Perhaps this is why my hips have been absolutely killing me.
What Are Your Hips Telling You?
Sure, I don't want to feel this in my body or to have these thoughts, but it is all something I must go through to get where I am supposed to be. Thankfully all of this creative energy around me is non-stop and the people I have met have been so pure. This is definitely a change of pace, but it is a pace that has ignited a spark. All I know now is that the possibilities are endless. I have the ability to do what I want, how I want. All in due time.

California Woman

Well, here I am at 7 in the morning wide awake with my weak coffee. In Texas we are two hours ahead of Los Angeles and still, I wake up at the same damn time... even with those fancy black out curtains here at "The Best Western." At least they have free breakfast.

Let me begin by saying that all of the weather I am experiencing is quite the adventure. In Cali we have two seasons, but apparently everywhere else has four. Since I began my trip I have experienced the cold in North Fork and Vegas, the snow falling in Flagstaff, the snow on the side of the road in New Mexico, and the slippery ice here in Amarillo, Texas. Now I am not saying any of this is bad, rather it's kind of exhilarating. Each step I take (in my clearance brown Doc Martens) is done with care. Granted I haven't fallen yet, there will come a time. 

After getting my Americano with soy and my solo espresso on the side from Macy's coffee shop in Flagstaff around 10am I drove to Santa Fe. Along the way I listened to The Joe Rogan Experience about Bitcoin (Andreas Antonopoulos), played Lana Del Rey's Paradise multiple times, and took in all the flat mountainous scenery. Driving an hour off of my I-40 route I decided to stop for some food with those famous green and red chiles. Well let me tell you it was delicious, but they still have nothing on our California mexican food. But thank you Santa Fe, maybe i'll come back to try and find that "artsy" part of town I never came across. Hence the drive to Amarillo the same day- accomplishing over 600 miles across America in about 10 hours. I got over my fear of driving in the dark and sang to my country music on Pandora (thanks Jason Aldean). 

At the beginning of this journey I felt some of the emotions I have at home, but once I got in the car yesterday I realized that my dark passenger hasn't tried to bring me down as much as I assumed they would. In fact, I have been screaming and chanting with joy in my 37 MPG Honda Civic. And just to think, this is only the begginning. 

Battle oneself

At home-and for that matter any where else-I have always had an unsettling feeling to keep in constant motion, a feeling that brings up resentment towards  myself. Feeling like my mind is a negative playing field it is an ongoing struggle between what I want to do and what I think I should be doing. An analogy-that the mind body connection just isn't quite there yet... Any way, as I woke up this morning in a college apartment I decided to get up once a few of the girls left. All alone downstairs I made some chai tea and opened up my new yoga app. At home I belong to a wonderful studio, but when that is not available to me I have to push myself to get my flexibility on. Here starts the battle. Am I doing this to stay fit? Or am I doing this for the goodness of my temple of a body? While either answer could be positive, I am not sure what it is that I actually want. A part of me says I love doing yoga every morning, and another part of me just wants to eat brownies and watch The Today Show. This challenge is one to overcome, if it can even be called a challenge. Somehow, someway the balance within myself must be found. Granted such a thing could never occur, but for a first step I will take a deep breath, enjoy this chai tea and set an intention to live in the present while I get packed to drive towards Santa Fe. 

Psychology of Northern Arizona University

Day 2 THURSDAY
Location: Hilltop Town Homes
Entertainment: Winter Olympics (thanks Sochi), nail painting (OPI and Essie) and high-altitude brownie making (extra flour)
Weather: Snowing and 28ºF (-2.22222222222222ºC)

Sitting here in the kitchen with three ladies waiting for this bottle of wine to be opened, I finally have time to reflect on the past day and a half of my "new era" trip.

This morning I woke up ten minutes from the strip of Las Vegas in a house with three gentlemen. My first couchsurfing experience was marvelous- their cat still had balls. But really, they fed me, I made some hot toddys, played ping pong, and listened to them jam.

So, how is it that I ended up in Las Vegas? How is is that I ended up on a road trip? How is it that I ended up quitting my job? How is it that I ended up in North Fork, California?
Well, there are a number of answers to these questions. Perhaps I should start with that moment I felt a new fire ignite within me.

That defining moment can only be pinned to the minute I was left alone in Europe November of 2013; distinctly in Geneva, Switzerland. Stepping out into the cold and very windy weather along the lake I could do nothing but smile. There was this freedom in my body that opened up. Within my life I have tried so hard to control everything around me, but here this was just not happening. I had to jump in and embrace life at that present moment. Coming back to America I was a changed woman! Ha.

So I carried on through the end of 2013 meeting new people that influenced my life for the better, and as they did I realized my life could no longer follow the same monotonous path. In January I chose to quit my comfortable job and decided to take off on this road trip destined for New Orleans. Day one began with a beautiful Brazilian named Luiza whom I met a week ago. Considering we were embarking on our journeys the same day we decided to take off together. Hence the drive to North Fork- where the town was filled with Bukowski like fellas and chain smoking women. After breakfast we drove down road 225 to find the California Vipassana Center where she would be partaking in a ten day silent meditation retreat (less alcohol, more pagodas).

I ran over a squirrel (RIP).
Roadkill to rebirth.
And so, I ended up in Vegas.