Battle oneself

At home-and for that matter any where else-I have always had an unsettling feeling to keep in constant motion, a feeling that brings up resentment towards  myself. Feeling like my mind is a negative playing field it is an ongoing struggle between what I want to do and what I think I should be doing. An analogy-that the mind body connection just isn't quite there yet... Any way, as I woke up this morning in a college apartment I decided to get up once a few of the girls left. All alone downstairs I made some chai tea and opened up my new yoga app. At home I belong to a wonderful studio, but when that is not available to me I have to push myself to get my flexibility on. Here starts the battle. Am I doing this to stay fit? Or am I doing this for the goodness of my temple of a body? While either answer could be positive, I am not sure what it is that I actually want. A part of me says I love doing yoga every morning, and another part of me just wants to eat brownies and watch The Today Show. This challenge is one to overcome, if it can even be called a challenge. Somehow, someway the balance within myself must be found. Granted such a thing could never occur, but for a first step I will take a deep breath, enjoy this chai tea and set an intention to live in the present while I get packed to drive towards Santa Fe.